Unintended Consequences of Fantasy Football

I got into Fantasy Football several years ago and must say that I am hooked.  I looked forward every year to the draft and it keeps me interested week in and week out (without taking up too much time).  However, there have been some unintended consequences of fantasy football that has impacted how I view the game as well as “my teams”.

• Unlike in the past, when I really couldn’t care less about anyone other than my team (the Oakland Raiders) or rooting for whoever was playing the NY Giants, I am now interested in pretty much every single game on the schedule. It could be the Cincinnati Bengals versus the Carolina Panthers and I actually care. Not about who wins the game (I mean let’s be real people) but about who scores and doesn’t score. Who knows, I may have A.J. Green of the Bengals (Damn you Carson Palmer for your fake retirement) and need him to score to win my week.

• I root for injuries.  OK it sounds kinda bad, perhaps sadistic. But, If Chris Johnson gets hurt, not only does my opponent lose out on any points but I have his backup on my roster.  Do I have a thought to how he or others will make a living if they are permanently hurt?  Well, actually no, they have their free college education to fall back on right?

• It complicates my personal loyalties.  For example, I sometimes root against my own team.  Now, I don’t want them to lose, but if I have the opposing QB, I am hoping it’s a shoot out.  If my opponent has Darren McFadden, I don’t want the Raiders to gain any yards on the ground or score any rushing touchdowns, I only want them to throw the ball (and not to McFadden).  If the raiders score (and its McFadden) I have mixed reactions.  It like doing “the wave” but only getting up a couple of inches off the seat and raising my hands similar to how the Queen of England waves to her loyal subjects.

• I hate the word committee more than a freshmen independent representative in the US Senate.  Of course I refer to the word committee as it’s used in the football sense – specifically, “running back by committee”.  For example, when a coach lets a runner like Ray Rice get all the yards between the 20’s yet when they get within the 5 yard line, they put in a different back to get them over the goal line.  Or when certain coaches employ a running back by committee strategy and everyone gets a turn to preserve the health of the backs.  The Carolina Panthers do this and last week the Packers did it.  I actually look for the Jersey number and then decide if I root for the handoff or not.  I root against the committee member that I don’t have so the coach will think to abandon it and go with “my guy”.  Or if all else fails, there is my personal “Injury rain dance”.

• I recognize players that I would never have known about previously.  Sure, most people know Tom Brady (at least as the guy who abandoned his pregnant girl-friend) or Plaxico Burress (again perhaps as the guy who was so stupid he shot himself in the foot with a concealed handgun & got sentenced to prison).  But, how about the tight end from the Seattle Seahawks?  The placekicker for the Falcons?  The defensive end from the Lions? The Water Boy from Arizona? Yep, I know them all (well except for that placekicker).

• I subscribe to NFL Red Zone.  Basically this is a TV channel for people with severe attention deficit disorder – or someone hooked on Fantasy Football.  It basically switches through the games like a crack head switches needles.  Oh wait, that wouldn’t be that often, so let me re-phrase that.  It switches through games like Elizabeth Taylor switches Husbands (8 if you didn’t know).  The channel will show every score of every game and switch when a team gets into the red zone (hence the name). By the way, Red Zone is within the 20 yard line. Sure, it’s probably a nightmare if you have Epilepsy, but otherwise, well worth it!