5 Biggest Losers Of All Time

When you think of the all time losers in the world, who do you think of?  Do you think of the 1962 NY Mets and their 40-120 record?  Perhaps it is the 1976-77 Tampa Bay Buccaneers who lost 26 games in a row?  Maybe it is a more recent display of ineptitude such as the Detroit Lions and their winless 2008 season or this year’s Charlotte Bobcats and their 7-59 record?

Yes, all of those teams displayed some “loser” qualities; however, none of them make my list of the biggest losers of all time!

1.  The Washington Generals

Record: 6 wins, 13,000+ losses 

The Skinny: I am sure you have heard of the Harlem Globetrotters? The Generals are the team the Globetrotters played their games against. The Generals would actually change their name as they went from city to city to make it appear like a bigger league of teams, but it was the same players regardless of the name or uniform. What surprised me the most was that they actually won 6 times (although the last one was in 1971). I wonder how disappointed the kids were who attended those 6 games. It is probably best summarized by the coach of the Generals who said that the crowd looked at him and the team like they just killed Santa Claus.

2.  The Really Rottens

Record: 1 win, 21 losses and 1 tie
The Skinny: The Really Rottens were one of 3 cartoon teams participating in the Laff-A-Lympics. The good guy teams, consisting of the Scooby Doobies and the Yogi Yahooeys, were good friends and their respective team members gladly helped each other whenever they got into a jam. However the Really Rottens always cheated and pulled dirty tricks which would ultimately cause them to be the last-place losers in most episodes. Typically the Really Rottens would be just on the verge of winning, before they would make a fatal error at the very end that allowed one of the other two teams to end up at the top. I believe their 1 victory came because , while they were underhanded, they didn’t actually break the official rules. Talk about finding a loophole.

3. New Coke

Record: Let’s just say that New Coke couldn’t even beat a cup of chewing tobacco in a blind taste test
The Skinny: Looking for an edge during the cola wars, the Coca Cola company introduced New Coke in 1985 to replace the original formula of Coke. It was a disaster, leading to the scrapping of the formula and the quick re-introduction of “classic Coke” whose advertising slogan could just have easily been “Old Coke - not the crap we tried to make you drink”.

4.  The Chevy Chase Show

Record: The following people hosted a talk show that lasted longer than the Chevy Chase show. Magic Johnson, Pat Sajak, Rosanne Barr, Rosie O’Donnell. Enough Said.
The Skinny: Seriously? Magic Johnson lasted longer! Chevy Chase was paid ~$4M a year to host a late night talk show in the fall 1993, hoping to claim Johnny Carson's mantle. To say the show was bad, does a disservice to the word bad. Chevy's show lasted only six weeks on Fox. I think at one point, Goldie Hawn was the only person that would be caught dead as a guest on the show, and that was probably due to a left over contractual clause from the movie “Seems Like Old Times”.

5. The Liza and David Reality Show

Record: Liza and David 0 - Surgical Booties 1
The Skinny: Liza and David was a series about newlyweds Liza Minnelli and her then-husband David Gest. When you think of all the reality shows in existence, from “Tommy Lee Goes To College” to “Are you Hot” to “Tool Academy”; you would think this show had a chance. Total Number of episodes aired = 0. Yep, 0. Evidently, Gest locked Minnelli in their apartment, screamed at camera crews who refused to wear surgical booties, and would cancel shoots at the last minute. Oh well, time to flip over to Teen Mom.

Honorable Mentions: Betamax, Pluto Nash, The XFL Football League, The Oprah Winfrey Network