This One Time... How Movie's Have Impacted My Life

Thanks to movies…

1.  Not only can animals talk, but they are probably making fun of me right now.  Yeah, screw you right back squirrel! (Dr. Doolittle / Zookeeper / Every Animated Movie ever)

2.  When I drive through a tunnel and get to the center, I always look for doors and a way to get higher than the water that will inevitably come gushing through when the tunnel collapses (Daylight)

3.  I think that all prostitutes have a heart of gold (Pretty Woman / Milk Money)

4.  I am always on the lookout for wooded areas where I can take drive away as soon as the Russians parachute in (we know they will). I also start inventorying the things that I will need to “borrow” from the local gas station to get me through the winter. (Red Dawn)

5.  When I see above ground electric poles on an open field, I stop and wait for the monsters that will come and eat them away like a deranged Pac-man (Langoliers)

6.  Every time I hear the song…

a.  Cruel Summer by Bananarama – I think of Ralph Machio playing soccer (Karate Kid)

b.  Poker Face by Lady Gaga – I think of a dancing half goat half boy in a casino (Percy Jackson)

c.  I’m Alright by Kenny Loggins – I think of a dancing gopher (Caddyshack)

7.  If I go 1 on 1 with someone in any contest, I use a fake Russian accent and say…. “I must break you”.  Of course, I guess that is better than going to the hospital and looking in on people and saying “If he dies…he dies” in the same accent. (Rocky IV)

8.  Any pitch that is remotely out of the strike zone is met with a resounding “Just a bit outside” in my best Bob Uecker imitation (Major League)

9.  Whenever I am on a boat, in any weather, I yell…”Iceberg…right ahead!” (Titanic)

10. I grew up thinking the fastest way to a girls heart was to raise my boom box above my head and play “In your eyes” (Say Anything)

11. Anytime I reference a large amount of money, I automatically say 1 billion dollars and put my pinky in my mouth.  (Austin Powers)

12. I tried to befriend my old eccentric neighbor thinking he may have a time machine made out of a Delorean in his garage.  Nope, he was just weird.  (Back to the Future)

13. I wonder why the president just doesn’t come out and say that he knows about Area 51 and the upcoming alien invasion (or asteroid heading towards Earth) but that it is OK because Will Smith (or Bruce Willis) is on the case (Independence Day / Armageddon)

14. I think every archeologist carries a bullwhip (Raiders of the Lost Arc)

15. Anytime I have a cold I just assume it is some sort of Zombie Virus (Dawn of the Dead / 28 Days Later)

16.Every time I hear “This one time…” I follow up with…Yeah you know the rest