I Sound Like My Parents

Remember all those things your parents said to you that you swore you would never say? Yeah....how's that working out for ya?

Here are things I have caught myself saying to my kids:

1.  No we are not there yet and we will never be there if you don’t stop asking!

2.  Do you want me to pull this car over and go back home?

3.  Don’t make me count to 5.  OK now you’ve done it.  One….two….you better hope I do not get to 5…three….I’m serious…fffffoooooouuuuurrrrr…..OK now you’re in trouble….5!!!

4.  You will eat it and you will like it

5.  I am going to call Santa Claus and tell him you have been bad and to skip our house

6.  Close the door, what do you think I do, heat (or cool) the world?

7.  We are not made of money

8.  If you can’t take care of your toys, I am going to give them to someone who will!

9.  Eat your dinner, there are starving people who would love to have that food

10.For the love of god, will you be quiet for just 5 minutes!!

11.You better stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!

12.When I was your age I didn’t have the things you do

13.Do you ever listen?

14.The only I time I use my kids middle names is when they are in trouble

15.Don’t use that tone of voice with me young man

16.I don’t care who’s fault it was, now you’re all in trouble

17.Why? Because I said so

18.Maybe Later

19.I’m not asleep, I am just resting my eyes

20.If your brother jumped off a bridge, would you too?

21.Just wait till you have kids (mind you, my kids are toddlers)

Dear Me. Things I would tell my younger self

Dear Me.  Things I would tell my younger self

1. Listen more, talk less.
2. Make eye contact.
3. Say please and thank you.
4. Tell your parents that you love them more.
5. Don’t worry about what anyone else has.  Your things do not define who you are.
6. Try and let your mom eat a hot meal.  You don’t need seconds before she has had firsts.
7. Go find someone that no one else is talking to and say hello.
8. Don’t worry that you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up.  You still don’t know – and you’re doing OK.
9. I know that you feel that (Insert girl’s name here) broke your heart , but not only are there other fish in the sea, you will really enjoy fishing….for a while anyway.
10. You know that kid that’s been bullying you on the school bus?  Don’t worry, I’m at the Exxon now and he just pumped your gas.
11. You might want to hold on to those ripped jeans, one day you will actually pay top dollar for those “rips”.
12. …Those parachute pants on the other hand…not so much
13. Try not to be so insecure, you’re not as bad as you think you are…
14. …but keep in mind, as you grow up, you’re also not as good as you think you are either – be humble.
15. It’s not enough to not be a sore loser, don’t be a bad winner
16. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. 
17. It’s OK to cry…
18. … but not over not getting that toy you wanted.
19. And while you’re at it, try not to throw yourself prone on the floor of the department store if you don’t get your way.
20. You know those toys that make all that noise, don't use them until after 10am.
21. Your parents actually do know better…for a little while longer anyway.
22. No, you will not use algebra later in life
23. … however you will use “how you learned” algebra in almost everything you do
24. Even if your parents say they’re busy, keep asking them to play with you.  Believe me, they will be thankful.
25. But instead of saying “mommy” 17 times in a row, try saying “excuse me” and waiting for her to answer you
26. Give more, take less
27. Believe in Miracles