Why I Watch The Bachelorette - A Guy's Point of View

Let me start off by saying that I didn’t start out as a willing watcher of this show. But after being asked or should I say forced to watch it, I was hooked. But why do I watch? I hear more than one person comment on how (insert random season’s couple) were “meant to be” or are “truly in love” – to which I say…”No” and then possibly gag. Each year, Chris Harrison talks about the success of the couples on the show in finding love. Of course he does, what is he going to say? Hey guys, get ready for this exciting season where (Insert Name) has less than a 5% chance of finding their soul mate. 5% and going downward - that’s the truth of the matter. Only 1 couple in 22 seasons has gotten married. In addition to poster children Trista & Ryan who everyone always refers to, only 1 other couple (Ali/Roberto) are even still dating. Note - Jason picked Mellisa, so he & Molly don’t count. For those watching this year, please keep this statistic in mind when Ashley eventually picks JP and people anoint them as the next great couple (until they break up).

So If I don’t believe that these people will really find love on the show (shocker), what keeps me interested in it? Three themes emerge for me:

1) The CONSISTENCY of the RIDICULOUSNESS: I swear it amazes me that I watch sometimes because it is so ridiculous. But I think it’s that I can rely on the insanity on the show week in, week out, season in, and season out that keeps me coming back. I can tell you right now that on the next season someone will say:

- “I believe that my Husband/Wife is standing in this room”
- “I am now ready to fall in love” and then say “I put walls up”
- “I am falling in love with (random person”) after 3 days
- “I don’t know what is wrong with me, no one will ever love me”
- The word “Journey” 17 times an episode

In addition, everyone has jobs that are blown out of proportion. Ashley is no more of a dentist than Hermey from Rudolph the red nosed reindeer was (actually Hermey actually worked on a dolls tooth so he may be one up on Ashley). Supposedly, one bachelor was a prince? Unless you send over Prince William, I’m not buying it. You get my point here…

And don’t even get me started on the hometown dates and the questions that friends and family ask. Imagine you are in the first 2 weeks of dating someone and their family poses these questions to you:

- “Are you ready to propose/accept proposal”?
- “So, you’ve known my son or daughter 10 days, are you willing to pick up your life and relocate here”?

2) Maybe this once, it actually will be the MOST SHOCKING EPISODE EVER: Nothing shocks me anymore. Movies are predictable, scripted TV shows are predictable, but this one show promises me every week that it will be the most shocking episode ever (with the trailers to prove it). OK, they have consistently failed to deliver, BUT what IF something shocking did happen and I wasn’t there to watch it? I would have missed Jen saying no to a proposal from Jerry even though she picked him (Season 3), Brad not picking anyone (Season 11), Jason picking Melissa, then breaking up with her and going back to his “runner up” Molly (Season 13), Rozlyn having an “inappropriate relationship” with a producer (which of course means that as a guy, I envision a True Blood graveyard hookup type scenario – Season 14) and then there’s Bentley (Season 7). Say what you want about the guy, but Bentley = ratings. Here we have a guy who would look to the Camera - Ferris Bueller style - and basically let you in on the joke. Yes, it was a sick and disturbing joke, but who could argue that it wasn’t shocking?

3) It’s like a car crash, its horrible, but I can’t look away: I don’t know if it’s just that these people have low self esteem, but I feel like I have to cover my eyes like a kid watching a horror movie as I watch the cringe worthy antics of each season’s “stars”. Obviously the “title characters” just want to get married – to ANYONE. Who walks into a room of 25 total strangers and says “I believe my husband is in this room”? I mean, if Ashley walked to terminal C, Gate 95 of Newark airport and said the same thing – people would look at her funny. Yet, she probably has a greater chance of actually finding her husband there (and have a more diverse choice). It is such a 1 sided relationship on this show. One person can date 25 people and the other person can only date you. The minions are just “hoping” for a date and then act like they are so interested in whatever unrealistic date they are on such as going to Thailand to walk the streets and paint baskets, when in reality, they would rather be at home, probably watching some other reality show. The bachelor(ette) is ALWAYS in control, dolling out roses like they are Ceasar – heck they might as well do the thumbs up / thumbs down since it is the same “judgement”. And really, if you think about it, what do you “win”? So yes, car crash is an apropos metaphor.

What I really want to see is a new reality program that shows the “winning” couple actually watching that seasons episodes together. Imagine watching JP (I assume) watch Ashley basically have a psychotic meltdown over Bentley after only 3 days after meeting him? Now that promises to be the most shocking episode ever!

Why do you watch?