- After watching the scenes for Part II, some girl better lose
a limb…well except for the one arm girl, because that would be just cruel.
- Really Sean, yesterday’s Rose ceremony is the thing that makes
you question if you can find your wife on this show?
1:1 Date with some
girl
- What is she wearing?
She looks like a maid. Maybe that
is the fairy tale part?
- An ice castle…with a fire.
Um, does anyone else see the potential for a melt down here? Get it.
Melt Down. See what I did there?
- Sean “What don’t I know about you?”. Really, how about everything?
- I may have been thinking this is my head instead but this is
what I heard her say “I was a clone
developed during the clone wars, became a bounty hunter and watched my clone
dad get his head chopped off”…oh, no wait, that was Boba Fett. Instead let me tell you this story about camp…
- This show becomes a series of one-up-manship. Girl with one arm. Girl falls down the stairs. Girl given up for adoption. Girl has tree fall on fellow camper. Girl gets frozen in water. You know next week a girl will cut off her
legs and arms, inject herself with the ebola
virus and she will be this torso saying she has 6 months to live and her make –
a – wish is to get a rose.
Group Date:
- Holy crazy person laugh.
I expected Selma to be petting a bald cat while laughing like that.
- Sean, “It’s been an incredible day so far”…really, all you
did is row a boat.
- Sean “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but I
hope you do if you really want a rose”. Sounds
like the girls have a choice to me.
- Sean “you won’t die”.
5 minutes later “Uh, I don’t think she is breathing”
- It’s nice to see the fake concern of these girls over
Tierra. “Oh yeah, I hope she is um, not
dead”
- Let’s see girl that didn’t jump into a frozen lake. Sean can’t respect that you actually had an
opinion and didn’t want to do something.
I think that is a foreshadowing of your future relationship.
- Every time someone gets a rose on a group date all the other girls have looks on their face
like “What the?”
- Holy crap, he sends home Sarah “the one armed girl”. Now I won’t know anyone’s name
- The one girl who was actually sweet and nice gets sent
home. A lesson to the ladies I guess.
- Sarah comes out in the hallways crying. Sean looks at her and says “Are you ok?”. Just peachy Sean, just peachy.
1:1 Date with Des
- Sean “Anytime you get in a relationship it’s about taking a
chance”. Yeah Sean, but it’s not about
jumping off a literal mountain
- Des “Oh no I hope I don’t die”. Don’t worry Des, if you do, I got 10 other
girls that will help me get over you.
- Sean “This was such a rewarding day for Des”. Me? Not
so much
- So, now that you answered my pop quiz correctly, here’s a
rose.
Rose Ceremony
- Because of my culture I have not kissed him on national
television. Wow, that is some very
specific rules for that culture.
- If we cut of Ashlee’s arm, she may be my new favorite.
- How sad is it that I pay enough attention to say “Well, I
know Tierra gets a rose because I saw a scene with her in a peach dress and she
hasn’t worn one yet”
The Opening:
- “I see every quality I
would look for in a wife with these girls.”
Seriously Sean? We haven’t even gotten to the 2nd episode
yet.
- Chris Harrison: "I really
see this working out for Sean" Yeah Chris, just like it worked out for
that Fake Prince…or that guy who owned a vinyard, or the guy who couldn’t pick
any girl at the end…or…
- How soon before the other girls in the house start
saying Sara cut off her arm on purpose for an advantage with Sean?
- Is this the stage of the show when the girls still
pretend to like each other?
1:1 Date with Sarah
- Saying omg a helicopter on
the Bachelor is like saying omg Mickey Mouse when entering Disney World
- "A fairy tale?” “The way I imagined it."
Wow Sarah, it's a reality show with 20 other women. You really need to imagine
better or read different fairy tales.
- "Let's find out these girls biggest
fears...and let's do that" - Bachelor producers
- Seriously, if I was up on that building getting
ready to free fall it would be like “beep, beep, beep, beep” (those represent
TV censor bleeps, not the roadrunner)
- "She amazed me". Dude, she jumped
off a building...in a safety harness...nothing more, nothing less
- Sarah's dad says "You need to find a guy
whose strong enough to get you through times like this"...uh sorry, my
advice to my daughter would be a little different. Like, YOU are strong enough
to get through this!
- I really wish a girl would say "You know
what, this guy’s an ass" after the first date
- Soo not a good kiss. I bet he wishes he could take
back the rose
- "I feel like I am falling in love with
Shawn"...and there it is
Group Date
- So, the model wins the modeling challenge? What is
her background, the Palmolive hands model?
- "I think he sees I'm bubbly.." No,
Tierra, he sees…uh….those
- "I've seen another side of
Leslie"...yeah, it's called her buttocks
- "I'm not here to get hurt" - some girl
who is going to get hurt
- "Why are you here?"…"For
love". Why even ask or answer that question? Like what else would they say?
- "I want that Rose". Yep, sounds genuine
to me
- If anyone should kiss him its Kacie B. that's how
you get out of the friend zone!
- Some girl: "I hope Sean sees through
Tierra" - Yeah, because history has shown that the bachelors really see
through that crap. My guess is
next week you confront Sean about another girl and then wonder why he gets
upset.
- "No, stay" - what Sean did not say to
the frizzy girl who bailed
Desiree 1:1 Date
- "This is Laura, she'll play the Art
director" No Sean, you can’t give her a rose.
- Good thing for ABC that the candid camera thing
didn't turn dark where Desiree stabbed the artist then tried to bury the body
in order to get that Rose
- When he says "I didn't expect to be so
comfortable with you" that's your queue to kiss him before that crosses
into uncomfortable
- Sean "You've already seen every side of
me". Seriously? you must have "0" sides
Rose ceremony
- Sean "Not having a date this week doesn't
mean anything" - well, those dates must have sucked then
- Hey Lindsay, when you say your dad’s a general…all
the guy hears is "he has guns"
- Sean: "I've dated everyone". See the
maid over there? yep, dated her. The Gardner?...dated her too. Yep, her And her
too...and her as well....
- The look of pure panic on these girls faces when
someone else gets a rose is priceless
- "Who the hell is Amanda?" - Me
- "Who the hell is Selma." - Me again
- “Who the hell is…what did they say her name was
again?” – Me, a 3rd time
Of course it was going to
be Amanda, they didn't even show those other girls on TV
