Bachelor 2013: Week 2: "Who The Hell is Amanda? Who the Hell is Selma"

The Opening:

• “I see every quality I would look for in a wife with these girls.”  Seriously Sean? We haven’t even gotten to the 2^nd episode yet.

• Chris Harrison: "I really see this working out for Sean" Yeah Chris, just like it worked out for that Fake Prince…or that guy who owned a vinyard, or the guy who couldn’t pick any girl at the end…or…

• How soon before the other girls in the house start saying Sara cut off her arm on purpose for an advantage with Sean?

• Is this the stage of the show when the girls still pretend to like each other?

1:1 Date with Sarah

• Saying omg a helicopter on the Bachelor is like saying omg Mickey Mouse when entering Disney World

• "A fairy tale?” “The way I imagined it." Wow Sarah, it's a reality show with 20 other women. You really need to imagine better or read different fairy tales.

• "Let's find out these girls biggest fears...and let's do that" - Bachelor producers

• Seriously, if I was up on that building getting ready to free fall it would be like “beep, beep, beep, beep” (those represent TV censor bleeps, not the roadrunner)

• "She amazed me".  Dude, she jumped off a building...in a safety harness...nothing more, nothing less

• Sarah's dad says "You need to find a guy whose strong enough to get you through times like this"...uh sorry, my advice to my daughter would be a little different. Like, YOU are strong enough to get through this!

• I really wish a girl would say "You know what, this guy’s an ass" after the first date

• Soo not a good kiss. I bet he wishes he could take back the rose

• "I feel like I am falling in love with Shawn"...and there it is

Group Date

• So, the model wins the modeling challenge? What is her background, the Palmolive hands model?

• "I think he sees I'm bubbly.." No, Tierra, he sees…uh….those

• "I've seen another side of Leslie"...yeah, it's called her buttocks

• "I'm not here to get hurt" - some girl who is going to get hurt

• "Why are you here?"…"For love". Why even ask or answer that question? Like what else would they say?

• "I want that Rose". Yep, sounds genuine to me

• If anyone should kiss him its Kacie B. that's how you get out of the friend zone!

• Some girl: "I hope Sean sees through Tierra" - Yeah, because history has shown that the bachelors really see through that crap.  My guess is next week you confront Sean about another girl and then wonder why he gets upset.

• "No, stay" - what Sean did not say to the frizzy girl who bailed

Desiree 1:1 Date

• "This is Laura, she'll play the Art director" No Sean, you can’t give her a rose.

• Good thing for ABC that the candid camera thing didn't turn dark where Desiree stabbed the artist then tried to bury the body in order to get that Rose

• When he says "I didn't expect to be so comfortable with you" that's your queue to kiss him before that crosses into uncomfortable

• Sean "You've already seen every side of me". Seriously? you must have "0" sides

Rose ceremony

• Sean "Not having a date this week doesn't mean anything" - well, those dates must have sucked then

• Hey Lindsay, when you say your dad’s a general…all the guy hears is "he has guns"

• Sean: "I've dated everyone". See the maid over there? yep, dated her. The Gardner?...dated her too. Yep, her And her too...and her as well....

• The look of pure panic on these girls faces when someone else gets a rose is priceless

• "Who the hell is Amanda?" - Me

• "Who the hell is Selma." - Me again

• “Who the hell is…what did they say her name was again?” – Me, a 3^rd time

Of course it was going to be Amanda, they didn't even show those other girls on TV