Advice To My Boys

• Give more than you take
• Kindness is not weakness
• Trust few, but trust completely
• The right thing and the easy thing are seldom the same thing
• Choose role models carefully
• Dance
• Don’t hold grudges
• Look people in the eyes
• Be nice, even if other’s are not
• Give credit, take accountability
• Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
• When all else fails, trust your gut
• Love your mother
• Protect your sister
• Be there for each other
• Question authority, just do it respectfully
• Extend olive branches
• Do what YOU want to do, not what others want you to do
• Don’t be a bully
• Stick up for yourself
• Try new things
• See other’s perspectives
• Don’t settle
• Call home
• Have faith

“I may not love you for the rest of your life, but I will love you for the rest of mine.”

Things I didn't know I signed up for when I become a parent

1. I would never have privacy in the bathroom... Ever again
2. Negotiating business deals is nothing compared to negotiating which cartoon my 3 toddlers will watch
3. There actually is a place called "At Wits End" and I'd visit there…A LOT. (It's close to "Up To Here")

4. I would have to watch every single thing my toddler does and respond like they just mapped a genome.
     o Kid: “Daddy, watch this”
     o Kid: “Daddy you’re not watching”
     o Kid: “OK Daddy, now watch me”
     o *kid flaps arms*
     o Me:”Awesome!”
5. I would have to be an encyclopedia of knowledge and explain everything ever created in world. “Daddy, what’s this? Daddy, what’s that? Daddy, what’s this?...”
6. An appropriate dinner can be gummy bears, a banana, a frozen waffle and an ice pop
7. Burying my head in a pile of pillows can be an acceptable form of dealing with my kids arguments
8. Three of my most dreaded words would be “Some assembly required”
9. I would need to navigate my home like it was a mine field ·
10. I would be manipulated so easily.
     o “Daddy, you are so handsome, I love you so much. Can I have an icepop?”
     o “Of course you can sweetie”
11. My choice of words would be forever changed. Case in point. As I am stepping out of a meeting at work I announce to everyone “Excuse me, I have to go potty”
12. I'd get my own personal “play by play” announcers. “Daddy’s brushing his teeth. Daddy is sleeping. Daddy is getting dressed.”
13. I'd become a doctor and that kissing a “boo-boo” actually does make it better
14. I'd wake up some days and immediately start counting hours to my kids bedtime
15. I’d find out that there is a sound worse than fingernails on chalkboard and it’s called whining
16. That I would need to protect myself like MMA fighter when playing with my kids.
17. I would be able to read the future: For example, here is a recent conversation with my son:
     o Me: “No”
     o Me: “I said no”
     o Me: “Buddy don't do it”
     o Me: “Look, we know how this'll turn out. You'll do it, I'll get mad, & you'll cry, so can we just skip it?"
     o *Son does it*
     o *Daddy gets mad*
     o *Son cries*
18. Not only would I watch cartoons, I would call out inconsistencies in them.
     o “Shouldn’t the Octonauts go through a depressurization chamber before going into the station?”
     o “Wait a second, how come the cow talks but the pig doesn’t?”
19. I would know what it is like to be bi-polar.
     o Me: “awww, I love these kids more than life itself”
     o *2 minutes pass*
     o Me: “STOP IT! GET OVER HERE! YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE. I SAID GET OVER HERE!!”
     o Awww I love them

How To Love A Child - A Daddy's Guide

There are countless books, blogs and advice givers (who the loudest are, ironically, the one's without kids) who "teach" you how you should raise your children.  Since much of this advice centers around encouraging your children, showing them respect and disciplining when necessary but also giving them wings to fly, I don’t feel the need to re-hash that.  Those are probably all written by Mom’s anyway – well, except for the ones written by those who have no children. 

So, let’s look at how to love a child - from a Daddy's perspective!

1.   Build a fort out of couch cushions

2.  Tie a pillow case around your neck and fly like Superman

3.   Let them pop all the bubble wrap

4.   Develop plans to build a space ship (or a Death Star!)

5.   Blow bubbles – and don’t worry if it spills!

6.   Eat dessert first

7.   Hold up you’re pinkie and talk in an English accent when drinking tea

8.   Let them color…outside the lines

9.   “Monsters in your closet you say?” – “Good thing Daddy was hard at work in his secret lab creating his ‘Monster Repellent’.  Now let me spray your room so you can go to sleep!

10. It's OK to say “Yes” even when you don’t want to (sometimes)

11. Try to find them during hide and seek…and fail

12. When your child says “look at me daddy”…look at them…and act really, really impressed no matter what they do

13. Create a drum set out of pots and pans

14. When you shake their hand, wince in pain because they are soooo strong and ask to see their  muscles

15. Tell them that the Cake they made was the BEST EVER (Sorry Mommy!)

16. Have breakfast for dinner

17. Let them pick out their own clothes, and don’t worry if they do not match

18. Act scared when they roar like a dinosaur

19. Teach them the "Superfly Snuka" leap onto the bed
20. Wear the tie they gave you

21. Be interested in what they want to do, not what you want them to do
22. Make up a story - any story, in which "INSERT YOUR CHILD'S NAME HERE" saved the world!

23. Remember what it was like to be a kid

24. Laugh…a lot