5 Biggest Losers Of All Time

When you think of the all time losers in the world, who do you think of?  Do you think of the 1962 NY Mets and their 40-120 record?  Perhaps it is the 1976-77 Tampa Bay Buccaneers who lost 26 games in a row?  Maybe it is a more recent display of ineptitude such as the Detroit Lions and their winless 2008 season or this year’s Charlotte Bobcats and their 7-59 record?

Yes, all of those teams displayed some “loser” qualities; however, none of them make my list of the biggest losers of all time!

1.  The Washington Generals

Record: 6 wins, 13,000+ losses 

The Skinny: I am sure you have heard of the Harlem Globetrotters? The Generals are the team the Globetrotters played their games against. The Generals would actually change their name as they went from city to city to make it appear like a bigger league of teams, but it was the same players regardless of the name or uniform. What surprised me the most was that they actually won 6 times (although the last one was in 1971). I wonder how disappointed the kids were who attended those 6 games. It is probably best summarized by the coach of the Generals who said that the crowd looked at him and the team like they just killed Santa Claus.

2.  The Really Rottens

Record: 1 win, 21 losses and 1 tie
The Skinny: The Really Rottens were one of 3 cartoon teams participating in the Laff-A-Lympics. The good guy teams, consisting of the Scooby Doobies and the Yogi Yahooeys, were good friends and their respective team members gladly helped each other whenever they got into a jam. However the Really Rottens always cheated and pulled dirty tricks which would ultimately cause them to be the last-place losers in most episodes. Typically the Really Rottens would be just on the verge of winning, before they would make a fatal error at the very end that allowed one of the other two teams to end up at the top. I believe their 1 victory came because , while they were underhanded, they didn’t actually break the official rules. Talk about finding a loophole.

3. New Coke

Record: Let’s just say that New Coke couldn’t even beat a cup of chewing tobacco in a blind taste test
The Skinny: Looking for an edge during the cola wars, the Coca Cola company introduced New Coke in 1985 to replace the original formula of Coke. It was a disaster, leading to the scrapping of the formula and the quick re-introduction of “classic Coke” whose advertising slogan could just have easily been “Old Coke - not the crap we tried to make you drink”.

4.  The Chevy Chase Show

Record: The following people hosted a talk show that lasted longer than the Chevy Chase show. Magic Johnson, Pat Sajak, Rosanne Barr, Rosie O’Donnell. Enough Said.
The Skinny: Seriously? Magic Johnson lasted longer! Chevy Chase was paid ~$4M a year to host a late night talk show in the fall 1993, hoping to claim Johnny Carson's mantle. To say the show was bad, does a disservice to the word bad. Chevy's show lasted only six weeks on Fox. I think at one point, Goldie Hawn was the only person that would be caught dead as a guest on the show, and that was probably due to a left over contractual clause from the movie “Seems Like Old Times”.

5. The Liza and David Reality Show

Record: Liza and David 0 - Surgical Booties 1
The Skinny: Liza and David was a series about newlyweds Liza Minnelli and her then-husband David Gest. When you think of all the reality shows in existence, from “Tommy Lee Goes To College” to “Are you Hot” to “Tool Academy”; you would think this show had a chance. Total Number of episodes aired = 0. Yep, 0. Evidently, Gest locked Minnelli in their apartment, screamed at camera crews who refused to wear surgical booties, and would cancel shoots at the last minute. Oh well, time to flip over to Teen Mom.

Honorable Mentions: Betamax, Pluto Nash, The XFL Football League, The Oprah Winfrey Network

The Walking Dead vs. The Walking Dead

Spoiler Alert!  I will be talking about the Comics which could give away events to come in the TV show or for those who want to read the comics.  If you don’t want to know, then turn away now – just look out for Zombies.  You have been warned!

What is the Walking Dead you may ask?    

The Walking Dead is a story about a Zombie Apocalypse and how the few humans that are left struggle to survive.  It started as a comic back in 2003 and is still going strong to this day.  It was turned into a Television Drama on AMC in 2010 (Launching Season 3 this year). 

I know, some of you may be saying, I hate Zombies or “if the Zombies don’t sparkle and fall in love I am not interested”.  Let me assure you, the Walking Dead is less about Zombies and more about the human survivors and how they get by in times of great stress.  Indeed, the title “The Walking Dead” may actually refer to the surviving humans as opposed to the Zombies themselves.  As we learn more and more, you realize the real threat is not the zombies themselves, but rather the survivors and how quickly humanity and civilization can be destroyed.

I would go so far as to say that The Walking Dead is one of the greatest pieces of entertainment in the 20^th century.  OK sure, I believe the only forms of entertainment before the 20^th century were gladiators, mimes, court Jesters and those Hieroglyphics on the caves of ancient man, but still….

While the comics are farther along than the show, the 2 are fairly close in story lines (There are some key differences so fans of the comics wouldn’t know what will always happen).

I started with the TV show (which I quickly called the greatest show on earth) and have only since read the comics.  So, what is different and which medium is better?  Let’s explore…

 WHO IS THAT?

Rick, a cop who was shot, fell into a coma, and woke up to a world filled with Zombies is the main character in both the comics and the show.  He is a reluctant leader and a guy whose character is fairly consistent between both mediums so far (although more of a bad-ass (in a good way) in the comics).  Accompanying Rick in this adventure (both with and against him) is a varied group of personalities.  Whether you started with the comic or the TV show, there are either characters missing or ones whose personalities are different than you may have expected.  Here are a few:

·         Tyrese (Comics): 

o    In the comics Tyrese, an ex-football player with a teen daughter who connects with Rick’s band of survivors and is really the #2 guy in the group.  In a word, he is awesome.  Hi daughter and her boyfriend enter in a suicide pact (but the boyfriend doesn’t die) so Tyrese has to take things into his own hands (literally).  He & Rick get in a violent fight (for the most part, Rick is in the wrong), he forms a relationship with Carol, a single parent, but also ends up hooking up with Michonne (a sword wielding female) which leads to a sad situation.  When Tyrese dies (told ya there were spoilers), his death was absolutely devastating.  He is murdered in front of Rick and the group when “bad guys” tried to use him as a hostage to get into their camp.  He went out like a champ.  If I had to choose one guy that was in the show it would be him.

·         Daryl (TV Show):

o    Daryl is in the show but not the comic, but is actually a guy who I wish was in the comic.  He is the “salt of the earth” guy who does all the dirty deeds on the show.  Despite his brother Merle who conflicted with the survivors (and someone I could have done without), Daryl has fit well and was really the sole guy who went out to find Sophia when she was lost.

·         Carol (Both):

o    Carol is a character in both the comics and the show but to me, they are two different people, and I for one prefer the comic Carol.  In the show, she is the mother of Sophia, but really doesn’t do anything other than run around looking like Jamie Lee Curtis.  In the comics Carol is still the mother of Sophia, but is seriously needy and kind of messed up from this whole experience.  She forms a relationship with Tyrese, but when she catches him hooking up with Michonne, she goes off the deep end.  She tries to kill herself in front of her daughter, kisses Lori then tries to marry Rick and Lori (together in some sort of new world threesome – they decline), then has a conversation with a tied up Zombie before letting said Zombie bite her.  See, told ya she was a better Carol.

·         Dale and Andrea (Both)

o    Since I saw the show first, I was introduced to Dale, the older whiny guy and Andrea – sort of a cranky crazy girl who seems at odds with Dale and gets harder and harder in her personality as the show moves on.  In the comics, Dale and Andrea are “intimate” and a couple.  So my first reaction was “eeewww”.  My second reaction was “no really, eeewwwww”.  I will say though that the Andrea in the book is much more likeable, while also being a crack shot with a gun.

·         T-Dogg (TV show):

o    Let’s just say he shouldn’t be in either.  I mean what does he do?

·         Ben and Billy - The Twins: (Comics)

o    The twins, Ben and Billy are the children of Allen and Donna (don’t worry about them) who are later adopted by Dale and Andrea when their parents die.  Ben becomes a big turning point in the comic story.  Long story short, Ben kills his brother (and a cat) as he mentally unravels.  The survivors realize that Ben is a danger to everyone but is undecided what to do about it.  In the middle of the night, Carl (a kid himself) shoots and kills Ben.  I can understand why they are not in the show since their characters really do nothing throughout, but the payoff in the comics was top notch drama and a huge turning point for Carl.

DIDN’T THEY DIE?

Depending on what you watched first, you may be wondering, “wait didn’t they die?

·         Sophia: Dies in the TV show, still alive in the comics (Issue 76).

o    In the TV show she was just kind of “there”, until she got lost and the group found her as a Zombie in the barn and Rick had to shoot her in front of her mom.  It was a pretty big OMG moment. 

o    In the comics she has an infatuation with Carl, goes catatonic when her Mom (Carol) goes off the deep end, and then thinks Maggie is her new mom (until Maggie tries to hang herself).  She is still just “there”. 

·         Dale:  Dies in the TV show at end of season 2 – lived for a while in the comic although eventually died.  So it was the timing of the death.

o    Dale was kind of a whiner in the TV show in my opinion, although he did go out pretty cool in the show getting eaten by a zombie (that Carl failed to kill when he had a chance). 

o    In the comics, he is a cooler dude (in my opinion), hooks up with a much younger Andrea (which is kind of “eh” to me), gets his foot cut off to stop an infection from killing him was plugging along with a new group of survivors for a while before being bitten by a zombie and then captured by cannibals who ate his infected body. 

THINGS I HOPE TO SEE IN THE SHOW

Based on the end of Season 2, we know they will be going to the prison and that Michonne hooks up with the crew. We also know by casting reports that the Governor will be introduced next season which will bring and all new kind of evil into Rick’s world.  All of this spells goodness, or, as readers of the comics know, much badness for our band of survivors.  So what else would I like to see make it into the show? 

• Tyrese.  Yes, since it’s later than in the book, they would have to rewrite his role a bit, but he is just that bad ass that it would be a shame not to include him.  I could see Daryl sort of taking his place in the storyline though.
• The return of Morgan and Duane.  Remember the Guy and his son who saved Rick when he got out of his coma.  The comics provided a holy ^%@* moment when they eventually got caught up.  Not sure it would make it back into the TV show, but would be kind of interesting.
• Lori and the baby:  I hope the show follows the comic’s arc as to the baby and Lori.  I could see the show breaking them up since that is what I heard Kirkman (creator) originally had planned for them in the comics), but I think the comic storyline is better. 
• Woodbury:  I actually hope the show doesn’t go into detail about what happens to Michonne in Woodbury and skip’s the attempted attack on Carl after the prison escape.  I know it is important to show how evil people can be, but those were difficult to read and I think impossible to watch on a TV show.
• Abraham.  It would be a little later on, although I wonder if the show gave a sideways reference to him when the guy from the “other” crew was captured and talked about what some of the men back at his camp were like (not good people).  Meaning, was Abraham’s family a victim of that group?

 WHAT DO I LIKE BETTER?

It’s hard to say.  The comic can drag a bit, but during some of the key Arcs (the prison and Woodbury as two examples) it is amazing.  The show explores some of the characters and situations more deeply (Shane’s relationship with Lori and Carl and dissolving relationship with Rick as an example). 

I could cop out and say both are great (they are, and I may).  I think because I am farther along in the comic book story line I am leaning toward them, but if the show follows through on some of these key moments and stories, I think it will eventually win out. So AMC, do not cancel this series! 

From a Certain Point of View: Star Wars Revisited

For whatever reason, I was thinking about Star Wars and about the early conversation between Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi.  If you recall, Early on, Luke asked Obi Wan how his father died. You see, Luke was under the impression his Dad was just a regular working Joe who had died when he was young and that he was raised by his uncle and aunt.   Obi Wan, who actually knows the truth (that the Evil Darth Vader IS in fact, Luke’s father) say’s “Your father was a Jedi and another Jedi who turned to evil named Darth Vader betrayed and murdered your father”.   

Yes, some people think that Obi-Wan was just a bit shady when Luke asked about his dad and he danced around the issue like he was caught by his girl coming home late, smelling of liqueur and places of ill-repute.  However, if you think about it, what was he going to say?  It was actually a deep rooted conspiracy that went back many years and involved many co-conspirators (don’t even get me started on Yoda who loses 1 fight and is like – well, I tried, time to exile myself).  So, for those of you who think Obi-Wan should have been direct and honest – I offer you this revisionist conversation between a fresh faced Luke Skywalker who asks his mentor how his Dad passed way…

Luke:   “Hey, Obi-Wan, how did my father die”?

Obi-Wan:  “Well I know everyone you have loved and trusted over the years has told you that your dad died.  But, ha ha, you’re actually going to find this quite funny Luke. Guess what? He’s not dead.  Surprise!”

Luke:  “Um…come again?”

Ob-Wan:”Well, you know how sometimes you get mad at your friends and have a fight with them.  Well something similar happened between me and your dad.   You see, I had to cut off his arms and his legs on a volcano planet.  I probably should have shown him some mercy since he was just this torso lying in the lava screaming in pain, oh and on fire, but just I left him there.  Hey, what are friends for, am I right?  So, anyway, I get back to the ship where your pregnant mother was and you were born. 

Luke:  “What?”

Obi-Wan:  “Yeah, but get this, your mom, who actually was in perfect health (other than this choking thing) “lost the will to live”.  Yeah, I’m not a doctor either but that sounds kind of fishy to me too.  I mean, she just had a baby and I guess you weren’t enough for her to hang around and take care of.

Luke:  “WHAT?!!!!”

Obi-Wan:  “Oh and this is the real kicker.  You’re torso of a dad actually didn’t die.  Yeah, I know.  He put on a cybernetic suit and became Darth Vader. Yep, the same guy who has been killing millions.  Actually he has kind of a history.  You see, back in the day he also killed children.  We called them younglings, but you get the picture.  Seriously, he couldn’t even get near a playground without taking out his light saber. 

Luke:  “WHAT THE *#@%$*!”

Obi-Wan:  “Anyhoo…I had to whisk you away and give you to your step-cousin, who by the way wasn’t married at the time to your aunt Beru, so who knows how that would have worked out.  But I digress.  Anyway, I gave you to this guy I barely knew and then we all agreed not to tell you who your dad was or any of your real history so we just made stuff up. “

Luke: *Silence*

Obi-Wan:  “Oh, woops, one more thing I failed to mention.  You actually have a sister too.  A twin.  Yeah, lots to take in right?  Also makes your mom’s choice to not stick around even more screwed up.  Anyway, we decided that we should split you up from your only living relative and never tell you that you had a sister, you know, a person you could trust, would have a shared experience and could talk to about how crazy this is.  So I gave her to this rich politician.  You may want to keep that in mind just in case you are ever on an Ice Planet and come across a cute girl and feel like kissing her on the lips – it may actually be her – and that would be weird.”

End Scene.

OK – Obi-Wan saying that Vader killed Luke’s dad doesn’t look so bad now does it?

Cartoons Then and Now...or Why my kids are more well-adjusted than I am

Recently I was watching some cartoons with my kids and it occurred to me how different these cartoons are from when I grew up.  Almost every cartoon I watched with them, from Octonauts to Special Agent Oso to Mickey Mouse Club to Handy Manny all had some educational or social component to it.  Contrast that to the cartoons I grew up watching such as Scooby Doo, The Looney Tunes, Captain Caveman and Josie and the Pussycats and it quickly became obvious that the children today are getting a very different message than I did when watching these shows.

So let’s compare and contrast some key messages from then and now.

Cartoons Now

·         Educate on Marine Life.  The Octonauts motto is Explore, Rescue, and Protect.  Pretty nice messages for kids right?  In each episode, not only do these underwater characters show they care about others, they also educate kids to all sorts of marine life.  Just recently I learned about both how Algae grows as well as that the only Iguana’s in the world that swim live off the coast of the Galapagos Islands.

·         Teach kids a second language and expose them to new cultures.  Yes, Dora the Explorer has the longest and most unnatural pauses in cartoon history.  Yes, it makes no sense that some animals talk and other's don’t.  However, by speaking in both English and Spanish she starts the process of educating kids at a young age to not just multi-languages, but also different cultures.

·         Help kids conquer early challenges.  On recent episodes of Special Agent Oso, this bear special agent has taught kids everything from proper manners while eating to how to line up for a fire drill to how to color in coloring books.  Yes, I have a higher bar for the qualifications of “special agents” but at least he wasn’t part of that advanced security team in Colombia who got busted for stiffing…er short-changing a “working girl”.

·         Teach kids teamwork.  My kids will watch Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Donald & Daisy worked together to solve problems.  OK, I still don’t know what Goofy is.  If he is a Dog, why does he talk and Pluto doesn’t?  And does Mickey have an ego problem?  Everything is named after him.  Mouse-a-hey, Mouse-a-hi, Mouse-a-toe here we go?  Really Mickey?  I see him as some sort of Kingpin who makes everyone kiss his ring finger and refers to himself in the 3^rd person.  Ok I digress, as I was saying…Teamwork.

Cartoons Then

·         Encourage you to practice with guns.  I don’t think Elmer Fudd could hit the broad side of a barn, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying.  He would load up his gun and go out to try to shoot and kill our favorite Rabbit Bugs Bunny.  Think about that.  What if Swiper from Dora didn’t just try to steal Dora’s stars, but rather, came up behind her with a hunting knife and tried to cut her throat every episode?  Pretty messed up stuff Warner Brothers, pretty messed up indeed.

·         Teach us that old people usually commit crimes.  I think every episode of Scooby Doo ended up with the old caretaker being unmasked as the ghost/monster/all around bad guy.  As they were being taken away, they would have the parting words for the cops of “I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.”  The morale of Scooby Doo?  Don’t trust anyone over the age of 40.

·         No matter the question, violence IS the answer.  Back in the day, a child may have the question “How should I deal with conflict?”  Well let’s look to our cartoons to see what they would recommend.  Tom and Jerry.  Wile-E-Coyote and the Roadrunner.  He-Man and Skeletor.  Woody Woodpecker and every other character on the show.  These shows were basically telling kids two things.  1)  If you don’t like someone, try to take them out…with dynamite if necessary.  And 2) if you do try to take them out, do not get products from ACME.

OKAY, I must note that yes, I did grow up with Schoolhouse Rock.  I still sing (to myself) Conjunction Junction What’s Your Function…although I still do not know what a conjunction’s function is.  And the real truth is that this show was just something bridging the time between Blue-Falcon & Dynomut and Jabber jaw.

Now I realize why my four year old kids are more well-adjusted than I am.  It all ties back to the cartoons!  And I won’t get started on kids of the 90’s.  With South Park and Robot Chicken, I don’t know how they survived.

What To Really Expect: Things you’re not told in “What to Expect when you’re Expecting”

Yes, having kids is the greatest blessing in the world.  And before having kids, there are lots of books out there to help you prepare for the joys of parenthood.  However, sometimes I wonder if those authors actually ever had kids themselves.  So, as the parent of 3 kids (4, 4, and 3), let me share some "additional" things to expect once your bundles of joy arrive and move into toddler-hood. 

·         Manage your expectations of what exactly it is you are going to see when you hear: "Daddy, watch this".

·         Pretending to be asleep doesn't work.  Kids will literally lift your eyelids open with their fingers and say “Daddy, are you awake?”

·         No matter how many toys your kids have, they will all want to consistently play with the same one at the same time.

·         Which toy?  The one that the other kid is playing with.

·         All those things you said you WEREN'T going to do when you had kids.  Trust me, you will do them.

·         Dora the Explorer is an acceptable babysitter.
·        The object of hide and seek is not for your kids to hide and you go find them.  It is for you to count, not move, and get a minute of peace and quiet until they come running back to you and you say "Oh, I couldn't find you".

·         When your kids are young, never...ever...read a book page by page.  When they get older, they become too smart and don’t allow you skip a page when you are in a hurry. “Daddy, go back you missed a page!  Daddy, I said go back”.

·         The time that your kids will get up in the morning is inversely proportional to the amount you drank last night.

·         Ignoring your kids or remaining silent doesn’t work.  Kids have no limit on the amount of times they can say the same thing over and over. “Daddy, I want to watch Mickey Mouse.  Mickey Daddy?  Mickey Daddy? Mickey Daddy? …”

·         Toddler’s have two types of cries.  The one they do to annoy you and the one that requires you to take them to the Emergency Room.  You will be able to tell the difference. 

·         You know that Verizon Fios ultimate TV package that you got to watch all the NBA, NFL, MLB and NHL games?  Forget it.  You better start rooting for Dora’s Soccer team, as that may be the only team you will ever see again.

·         Actually, just save your money and stream Disney Jr. to your TV.

·         No, we are not there yet, and we will never be there if you don’t stop asking!

·         Despite what you think, you WILL sound like your parents because 1) We do not heat/cool the whole world (so close the door) 2)There are starving people in Africa (so eat your food) and 3) We are not made of money.

The 10 Scariest Movies Ever

I know that any top 10 list is debatable and subject to personal preferences. So when I think of the top 10 scariest movies of all time, I am going by what personally impacts or affects me. For me, it is not only what makes me scared during the viewing of the movie, but more importantly, what stays with me afterwards. Do I watch with my hands over my face, and do I get nervous if I have to walk to the bathroom afterwards and fear looking in the mirror and hoping I don’t see the reflection of something out to get me!

With that said, below are my top 10 scariest movies...EVER

10. Scream (1996):

Scream is an interesting movie and one that some say revitalized the horror genre as it exploited clichés that films in the genre had become reliant upon. Scream is about a high school girl who becomes the target of a mysterious killer known as Ghost Face. While overall, I wouldn’t say the movie is in my top 10 scariest, if I just look at the first 10 minutes of the movie, I have to say that that sequence definitely ranked up there. In the introductory scene, a girl is home alone getting ready to watch a movie and she receives a phone call from a stranger that gets more and more intense. At one point the caller asks the girls name. The girl innocently asks why. As soon as we hear the response “Because I want to know who I am looking at” all bets are off. This scene is also why people need to know that Jason was not the killer in Friday the 13th.

9. The Omen (1976)

In the omen, a couple’s newborn dies shortly after birth and, at the urging of a priest, the father, without telling his wife, substitutes an orphan baby whose mother dies shortly after childbirth. This baby, which they name Damien, may or may not be the Antichrist.

Any movie which can take a name (Damien) and basically turn it into a cultural synonym for devil child or Antichrist has to make my list. Even to this day, over 35 years later, people still refer to misbehaving kids as “Damien”. Watch the movie (the original) and you will know why.

8. The Ring (2002)

This is a remake of a Japanese horror film that centers around a cursed video tape. After watching the tape, the viewer receives a phone call in which a voice announces that the viewer will die in 7 days. In all actuality, I am not sure if I really followed the storyline aside from the basic premise, but I do recall that after watching the movie and then an hour or so later my phone rang at home, I was hesitant to answer it. That, in and of itself, is enough to get the Ring on my top 10 list.

7. Friday the 13th (1980)

One thing you will notice is that traditional slasher/horror films are not necessarily the types of movies I find scary. Friday the 13th (the original) is 1 of 2 exceptions to my top 10 list.

Friday the 13th is about a group of teenagers (the typical horror movie victims) who are murdered one-by-one while attempting to re-open an abandoned campsite. Yes, the now clichéd story of rambunctious teens getting slaughtered in different methods has been done to death (see what I did there!), but at the time, this to me was a frightening experience. It is also funny (see Scream) that most people think the killer in Friday the 13th was Jason Voorhees, which is not true of the original movie.

6. Psycho (1960)

Psycho (the original again!) is about a secretary who steals money from her employer and goes on the run. She stops at a secluded motel and runs into a disturbed owner and manager named Norman Bates. Norman mentions that he rarely has guests and mentions that he lives with his mother in the house overlooking the hotel.

One of the things that shocked me is that the woman, who we think is one of the main characters, get murdered pretty early in the movie. The murder itself, stabbed in the shower, is a scene that has been embedded in our memories over the year (as well as the shrieking sound that we all have made when mimicking a fake stab). The scary part of the movie is really the “relationship” between Norman and his Mother (who he thinks stabbed the girl). Without giving away the ending, it resolves itself in an interesting twist.

5. Halloween (1978)

Halloween is my second (and last) “Slasher” film on the list. The movie starts on Halloween back in 1963 and follows six year old Michael Myers who murders his older sister by stabbing her with a kitchen knife. Fifteen years later, Michael escapes from a psychiatric hospital and returns home to stalk a teenager and her friends. Michael's psychiatrist follows him to try to prevent him from killing.

I also remember something that, today, wouldn’t seem such a big deal, but at the time was scary. At that was watching the Dr. Shoot Michael and watch him fall out a window and thinking that it is over. The camera then pans out the window as the viewer expects to see Michael’s body and seeing nothing. He was shot “6 times” and he walked away. Scary back in the day!

4. The Thing (1982)

The Thing is an alien that basically takes over and imitates people (and other living things). The Thing infiltrates a research station taking the appearance of each of the researchers that it kills. The remaining researchers find out and undergo paranoia trying to figure out who is real and who is “imitated”.

When I list this movie, I refer, of course, to the 1982 version and not the original “Thing from another world” nor the most recent prequel. The scary parts of the movie are not about the Alien, but how quickly people turn on friends they have known for years. It is as if we feel the same paranoia as the movie characters as we interpret each look or comment as we try to decide who we can trust.

3. The Shining (1980):

In the Shining, a writer takes a job as an offseason caretaker at an isolated hotel. Soon after settling in, the family is trapped in the hotel by a snowstorm and the man gradually becomes influenced by a supernatural presence; goes crazy, and attempts to murder his wife and son.

Yes, “Here’s Johnny” is now rather an amusing catch phase. However at the time watching Jack Nicholson descend into madness was terrifying. I don’t know if I ever understood the visions he had in the movie, but I do recall the young boy saying REDRUM (murder spelled backwards) and flashes of the twin girls sending chills down my spine.

2. Paranormal Activity 1 & 3:

The 1st movie is about a couple who are haunted by a supernatural presence in their home. The movie is in the style of found footage from camera’s set up around the house by the couple in an attempt to find out what is haunting them. The 3rd movie (I’ll skip the 2nd) is a prequel of sorts and follows the woman when she was a young girl (and her sister) growing up. The movie follows the same premise of her parents setting up a video camera to understand the strange happenings going on in the home and also trying to uncover the young girls “imaginary friend” who happens to be an evil spirit.

When I first saw paranormal activity, I said that it was the scariest movie I have seen since (the movie that is #1 on this list). It’s really the simplicity of the movie that is scary. Similar to Jaws which basically played some music and showed the ocean, the scares are in the imagination of wondering “what is going to happen”. In addition, because of the style of the movie and the amateur actors, you find yourself watching, and forgetting it’s a movie and thinking “this really could happen”. The 3rd movie adds in the element of a camera strapped to a ceiling fan. This adds the element of panning from room to room and knowing that something may be there. I literally watched these movies with my hands firmly over my eyes.

The Exorcist (1973):

The story centers on a young girl who may or may not be possessed by the devil and the priests who come to perform an exorcism.

I saw this movie decades ago and it is one that kept me up for days afterwards. To this day I still don’t re-watch it (granted that means I am not sure if the scares hold up over time). The transformation of the girl into a possessed monster was disturbing, not to mention some of the obscene things she said and did which I can only assume were extremely shocking during the early 70’s for movies. However, I wouldn’t say the scares came from shock value or gore, but rather how this innocent girl gradually gets taken over by possession and, again, the feeling that there is some level of “this could happen”.

Dear Me: Part II. Things my younger self would tell me now

1. Use your imagination more.  Just because you are an adult, does not mean you can’t play make-believe.
2. Remember, what you do is much more important than what you say.
3. Teach your kids how to think, not what to think.
4. There is no such thing as saying “I love you” too much.
5. 5 minutes is really not that long.  You are never too busy to play with your kids.
6. Just because you know that your son and daughter will “find someone else” when they go through a breakup, don’t forget how much it can hurt at the time.
7. Because I said so is not really an answer.
8. Go easy on your kids.  Remember, you broke a window once.  And a lamp.  And…
9. Just because it’s not the fad that you went through, doesn’t mean it’s stupid.
10. Remember, the music you listened to growing up was just bad noise to your parents too.
11. Just because you’re an adult, doesn’t mean you can’t listen.
12. You cannot prevent your kids from making mistakes.  You have made plenty in your life and you turned out okay.
13. You don’t always have to have the answer.  Sometimes an ear to bend is all that is needed.
14. Talk with your kids, not to them
15. I know you are busy, and you don’t think it is that exciting, but bring your kids to work with you once.  Remember how cool it was to see that “mysterious” place your dad went to every day.
16. Always remember, to the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.