Cartoons Then and Now...or Why my kids are more well-adjusted than I am

Recently I was watching some cartoons with my kids and it occurred to me how different these cartoons are from when I grew up.  Almost every cartoon I watched with them, from Octonauts to Special Agent Oso to Mickey Mouse Club to Handy Manny all had some educational or social component to it.  Contrast that to the cartoons I grew up watching such as Scooby Doo, The Looney Tunes, Captain Caveman and Josie and the Pussycats and it quickly became obvious that the children today are getting a very different message than I did when watching these shows.

So let’s compare and contrast some key messages from then and now.

Cartoons Now

·         Educate on Marine Life.  The Octonauts motto is Explore, Rescue, and Protect.  Pretty nice messages for kids right?  In each episode, not only do these underwater characters show they care about others, they also educate kids to all sorts of marine life.  Just recently I learned about both how Algae grows as well as that the only Iguana’s in the world that swim live off the coast of the Galapagos Islands.

·         Teach kids a second language and expose them to new cultures.  Yes, Dora the Explorer has the longest and most unnatural pauses in cartoon history.  Yes, it makes no sense that some animals talk and other's don’t.  However, by speaking in both English and Spanish she starts the process of educating kids at a young age to not just multi-languages, but also different cultures.

·         Help kids conquer early challenges.  On recent episodes of Special Agent Oso, this bear special agent has taught kids everything from proper manners while eating to how to line up for a fire drill to how to color in coloring books.  Yes, I have a higher bar for the qualifications of “special agents” but at least he wasn’t part of that advanced security team in Colombia who got busted for stiffing…er short-changing a “working girl”.

·         Teach kids teamwork.  My kids will watch Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Donald & Daisy worked together to solve problems.  OK, I still don’t know what Goofy is.  If he is a Dog, why does he talk and Pluto doesn’t?  And does Mickey have an ego problem?  Everything is named after him.  Mouse-a-hey, Mouse-a-hi, Mouse-a-toe here we go?  Really Mickey?  I see him as some sort of Kingpin who makes everyone kiss his ring finger and refers to himself in the 3^rd person.  Ok I digress, as I was saying…Teamwork.

Cartoons Then

·         Encourage you to practice with guns.  I don’t think Elmer Fudd could hit the broad side of a barn, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying.  He would load up his gun and go out to try to shoot and kill our favorite Rabbit Bugs Bunny.  Think about that.  What if Swiper from Dora didn’t just try to steal Dora’s stars, but rather, came up behind her with a hunting knife and tried to cut her throat every episode?  Pretty messed up stuff Warner Brothers, pretty messed up indeed.

·         Teach us that old people usually commit crimes.  I think every episode of Scooby Doo ended up with the old caretaker being unmasked as the ghost/monster/all around bad guy.  As they were being taken away, they would have the parting words for the cops of “I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.”  The morale of Scooby Doo?  Don’t trust anyone over the age of 40.

·         No matter the question, violence IS the answer.  Back in the day, a child may have the question “How should I deal with conflict?”  Well let’s look to our cartoons to see what they would recommend.  Tom and Jerry.  Wile-E-Coyote and the Roadrunner.  He-Man and Skeletor.  Woody Woodpecker and every other character on the show.  These shows were basically telling kids two things.  1)  If you don’t like someone, try to take them out…with dynamite if necessary.  And 2) if you do try to take them out, do not get products from ACME.

OKAY, I must note that yes, I did grow up with Schoolhouse Rock.  I still sing (to myself) Conjunction Junction What’s Your Function…although I still do not know what a conjunction’s function is.  And the real truth is that this show was just something bridging the time between Blue-Falcon & Dynomut and Jabber jaw.

Now I realize why my four year old kids are more well-adjusted than I am.  It all ties back to the cartoons!  And I won’t get started on kids of the 90’s.  With South Park and Robot Chicken, I don’t know how they survived.

What To Really Expect: Things you’re not told in “What to Expect when you’re Expecting”

Yes, having kids is the greatest blessing in the world.  And before having kids, there are lots of books out there to help you prepare for the joys of parenthood.  However, sometimes I wonder if those authors actually ever had kids themselves.  So, as the parent of 3 kids (4, 4, and 3), let me share some "additional" things to expect once your bundles of joy arrive and move into toddler-hood. 

·         Manage your expectations of what exactly it is you are going to see when you hear: "Daddy, watch this".

·         Pretending to be asleep doesn't work.  Kids will literally lift your eyelids open with their fingers and say “Daddy, are you awake?”

·         No matter how many toys your kids have, they will all want to consistently play with the same one at the same time.

·         Which toy?  The one that the other kid is playing with.

·         All those things you said you WEREN'T going to do when you had kids.  Trust me, you will do them.

·         Dora the Explorer is an acceptable babysitter.
·        The object of hide and seek is not for your kids to hide and you go find them.  It is for you to count, not move, and get a minute of peace and quiet until they come running back to you and you say "Oh, I couldn't find you".

·         When your kids are young, never...ever...read a book page by page.  When they get older, they become too smart and don’t allow you skip a page when you are in a hurry. “Daddy, go back you missed a page!  Daddy, I said go back”.

·         The time that your kids will get up in the morning is inversely proportional to the amount you drank last night.

·         Ignoring your kids or remaining silent doesn’t work.  Kids have no limit on the amount of times they can say the same thing over and over. “Daddy, I want to watch Mickey Mouse.  Mickey Daddy?  Mickey Daddy? Mickey Daddy? …”

·         Toddler’s have two types of cries.  The one they do to annoy you and the one that requires you to take them to the Emergency Room.  You will be able to tell the difference. 

·         You know that Verizon Fios ultimate TV package that you got to watch all the NBA, NFL, MLB and NHL games?  Forget it.  You better start rooting for Dora’s Soccer team, as that may be the only team you will ever see again.

·         Actually, just save your money and stream Disney Jr. to your TV.

·         No, we are not there yet, and we will never be there if you don’t stop asking!

·         Despite what you think, you WILL sound like your parents because 1) We do not heat/cool the whole world (so close the door) 2)There are starving people in Africa (so eat your food) and 3) We are not made of money.

The 10 Scariest Movies Ever

I know that any top 10 list is debatable and subject to personal preferences. So when I think of the top 10 scariest movies of all time, I am going by what personally impacts or affects me. For me, it is not only what makes me scared during the viewing of the movie, but more importantly, what stays with me afterwards. Do I watch with my hands over my face, and do I get nervous if I have to walk to the bathroom afterwards and fear looking in the mirror and hoping I don’t see the reflection of something out to get me!

With that said, below are my top 10 scariest movies...EVER

10. Scream (1996):

Scream is an interesting movie and one that some say revitalized the horror genre as it exploited clichés that films in the genre had become reliant upon. Scream is about a high school girl who becomes the target of a mysterious killer known as Ghost Face. While overall, I wouldn’t say the movie is in my top 10 scariest, if I just look at the first 10 minutes of the movie, I have to say that that sequence definitely ranked up there. In the introductory scene, a girl is home alone getting ready to watch a movie and she receives a phone call from a stranger that gets more and more intense. At one point the caller asks the girls name. The girl innocently asks why. As soon as we hear the response “Because I want to know who I am looking at” all bets are off. This scene is also why people need to know that Jason was not the killer in Friday the 13th.

9. The Omen (1976)

In the omen, a couple’s newborn dies shortly after birth and, at the urging of a priest, the father, without telling his wife, substitutes an orphan baby whose mother dies shortly after childbirth. This baby, which they name Damien, may or may not be the Antichrist.

Any movie which can take a name (Damien) and basically turn it into a cultural synonym for devil child or Antichrist has to make my list. Even to this day, over 35 years later, people still refer to misbehaving kids as “Damien”. Watch the movie (the original) and you will know why.

8. The Ring (2002)

This is a remake of a Japanese horror film that centers around a cursed video tape. After watching the tape, the viewer receives a phone call in which a voice announces that the viewer will die in 7 days. In all actuality, I am not sure if I really followed the storyline aside from the basic premise, but I do recall that after watching the movie and then an hour or so later my phone rang at home, I was hesitant to answer it. That, in and of itself, is enough to get the Ring on my top 10 list.

7. Friday the 13th (1980)

One thing you will notice is that traditional slasher/horror films are not necessarily the types of movies I find scary. Friday the 13th (the original) is 1 of 2 exceptions to my top 10 list.

Friday the 13th is about a group of teenagers (the typical horror movie victims) who are murdered one-by-one while attempting to re-open an abandoned campsite. Yes, the now clichéd story of rambunctious teens getting slaughtered in different methods has been done to death (see what I did there!), but at the time, this to me was a frightening experience. It is also funny (see Scream) that most people think the killer in Friday the 13th was Jason Voorhees, which is not true of the original movie.

6. Psycho (1960)

Psycho (the original again!) is about a secretary who steals money from her employer and goes on the run. She stops at a secluded motel and runs into a disturbed owner and manager named Norman Bates. Norman mentions that he rarely has guests and mentions that he lives with his mother in the house overlooking the hotel.

One of the things that shocked me is that the woman, who we think is one of the main characters, get murdered pretty early in the movie. The murder itself, stabbed in the shower, is a scene that has been embedded in our memories over the year (as well as the shrieking sound that we all have made when mimicking a fake stab). The scary part of the movie is really the “relationship” between Norman and his Mother (who he thinks stabbed the girl). Without giving away the ending, it resolves itself in an interesting twist.

5. Halloween (1978)

Halloween is my second (and last) “Slasher” film on the list. The movie starts on Halloween back in 1963 and follows six year old Michael Myers who murders his older sister by stabbing her with a kitchen knife. Fifteen years later, Michael escapes from a psychiatric hospital and returns home to stalk a teenager and her friends. Michael's psychiatrist follows him to try to prevent him from killing.

I also remember something that, today, wouldn’t seem such a big deal, but at the time was scary. At that was watching the Dr. Shoot Michael and watch him fall out a window and thinking that it is over. The camera then pans out the window as the viewer expects to see Michael’s body and seeing nothing. He was shot “6 times” and he walked away. Scary back in the day!

4. The Thing (1982)

The Thing is an alien that basically takes over and imitates people (and other living things). The Thing infiltrates a research station taking the appearance of each of the researchers that it kills. The remaining researchers find out and undergo paranoia trying to figure out who is real and who is “imitated”.

When I list this movie, I refer, of course, to the 1982 version and not the original “Thing from another world” nor the most recent prequel. The scary parts of the movie are not about the Alien, but how quickly people turn on friends they have known for years. It is as if we feel the same paranoia as the movie characters as we interpret each look or comment as we try to decide who we can trust.

3. The Shining (1980):

In the Shining, a writer takes a job as an offseason caretaker at an isolated hotel. Soon after settling in, the family is trapped in the hotel by a snowstorm and the man gradually becomes influenced by a supernatural presence; goes crazy, and attempts to murder his wife and son.

Yes, “Here’s Johnny” is now rather an amusing catch phase. However at the time watching Jack Nicholson descend into madness was terrifying. I don’t know if I ever understood the visions he had in the movie, but I do recall the young boy saying REDRUM (murder spelled backwards) and flashes of the twin girls sending chills down my spine.

2. Paranormal Activity 1 & 3:

The 1st movie is about a couple who are haunted by a supernatural presence in their home. The movie is in the style of found footage from camera’s set up around the house by the couple in an attempt to find out what is haunting them. The 3rd movie (I’ll skip the 2nd) is a prequel of sorts and follows the woman when she was a young girl (and her sister) growing up. The movie follows the same premise of her parents setting up a video camera to understand the strange happenings going on in the home and also trying to uncover the young girls “imaginary friend” who happens to be an evil spirit.

When I first saw paranormal activity, I said that it was the scariest movie I have seen since (the movie that is #1 on this list). It’s really the simplicity of the movie that is scary. Similar to Jaws which basically played some music and showed the ocean, the scares are in the imagination of wondering “what is going to happen”. In addition, because of the style of the movie and the amateur actors, you find yourself watching, and forgetting it’s a movie and thinking “this really could happen”. The 3rd movie adds in the element of a camera strapped to a ceiling fan. This adds the element of panning from room to room and knowing that something may be there. I literally watched these movies with my hands firmly over my eyes.

The Exorcist (1973):

The story centers on a young girl who may or may not be possessed by the devil and the priests who come to perform an exorcism.

I saw this movie decades ago and it is one that kept me up for days afterwards. To this day I still don’t re-watch it (granted that means I am not sure if the scares hold up over time). The transformation of the girl into a possessed monster was disturbing, not to mention some of the obscene things she said and did which I can only assume were extremely shocking during the early 70’s for movies. However, I wouldn’t say the scares came from shock value or gore, but rather how this innocent girl gradually gets taken over by possession and, again, the feeling that there is some level of “this could happen”.